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Sex after a stroke
Five months ago, I suffered a small stroke. It hit me like a bolt of lightening to the brain, just minutes after I’d arrived home from work. It was terrifying and traumatic. I take really good care...
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Pegging Prep
Pegging is one of the topics I most frequently get asked to write about. For those who aren’t sure what I mean by “pegging”, it’s a term that was coined by Dan Savage to describe a sexual act where one...
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5 Sex Positive Resolutions for 2020
With a new decade spread out before us like a blank page, it’s the perfect time to begin thinking about some resolutions. It’s a great opportunity to think about how you’d like to explore your kinks...
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How to read more
Every year “Read More Books” is on my list of new-years resolutions. I glance at my teetering pile of yet-to-be-begun books and think wistfully of the days when I would smash through a book every...
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What a massage taught me about bodily autonomy
A few days ago, I went to a spa that I’d never visited before for a massage. When I arrived, I was given a questionnaire to fill out. Initially I thought it was just the standard spa-intake form,...
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Trust: A Vital Ingredient in BDsM
BDsM has a number of essential elements. Consent, care, creativity and open-mindedness are all important in any BDsM exchange. But it could be argued that the paramount part of BDsM is trust. Trust...
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BDsM vetting tips
One of the most challenging and exciting parts of BDsM is finding someone to play with. Although some fantasies can be acted out on your own, eventually most of us are going to seek out someone to...
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Coping during the pandemic
These past few weeks have felt like a rapidly escalating nightmare. As the COVID-19 pandemic worsens, it’s hard not to feel utterly rudderless, unsure of what’s coming next and unable to find a steady...
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Choosing your first sex toy
Most people have a special place in their memory reserved for firsts: Their first kiss, their first date, their first night away from home. In my bank of Firsts is the memory of the day I bought my...
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Negotiating for better BDsM
A lot of people get their hackles up when you mention the word “negotiation” in relation to bedroom activities. There’s a misconception that sex and play should be spontaneous, that each party should...
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Aftercare for Tops
Often when we talk about aftercare, the focus is on the submissive or bottom in a scene. While it’s important to ensure that the submissive is well cared for after a scene is finished, it’s just as...
View ArticleWhat it feels like to be the only child-free friend.
During my twenties, childfree friends vastly outnumbered those with kids. It took me years to get to a stage where my knee-jerk reaction to a friend’s pregnancy announcement stopped being “oh no! What...
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Anal play for beginners
Butt play is one of the most taboo sex acts around. A lot of folks are interested in giving it a try, but feel totally intimidated by the thought of putting something in their back door. There’s so...
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How to figure out your dream sex life
There are so many books, articles and courses dedicated to helping you achieve your dream sex life. Sex-positive folk are always talking about pursuing the type of sex you want. But what if you’re not...
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Starting a cloth pad stash
A few months ago, one of my friends asked my advice about buying some cloth pads for her daughter. Specifically, she wanted to know how many she should get to start out. This is a question I get asked...
View ArticleOvercoming masturbation shame
So many people feel shame around the topic of masturbation. Lots of us grew up in environments where masturbation was never talked about. Maybe you were told that it was something “dirty” that you...
View ArticleMy Depression Checklist
Ten years after I was diagnosed with depression, I finally feel as though I’ve got a handle on it. I’ve accepted the fact that I will never be “cured”. My depression is never going to completely go...
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